I hate this this word but for some reason I've found myself always quitting something. I hate to feel like I'm giving up on myself but for whatever reason I've never been good with follow through of things. I get so many ideas and many times I will be so determined to continue with them but then, out of nowehere, I will just stop.
This blog for example, is something I really enjoy doing but I can't seem to keep up with it. Whether it be a hobby, a job, sometimes even paying bills (horrible I know, thankfully Dave has made me a better person in that department!)...I can never seem to commit to something fully. Not sure if it's boredom in some cases but it's certainly something I've thought about a lot.
When Dave and I went to pre-marital counseling, our therapist brought something up that I haven't thought of. She proposed that maybe the reason why I quit jobs is out of fear...fear of success and/or failure and the fear of bigger responsibilites. In that case she might have really hit the nail on the head however it still doesn't help that haven't found my "niche" in my work life....the combination of quitting and not knowing what career I should gravitate toward is sort of a recipe for disaster!
In the past year or two I have finally become self-aware that I "quit" things. I'm glad my therapist pointed those other things to me because it's something I can try to remedy. I believe people can change for the better but like everything else it requires work and practice.
Even though I haven't written a blog everyday like I originally wanted to, I'm coming back to it and for me this is progress. Every small step will hopefully become one big change in the future.
Anyone else have any internal struggles they'd like to share??
The only thing holding us back from being great is OURSELVES so I guess I should continue trying to be a better me!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Writer's Block....
I have nothing to report today...couldn't think of a good enough topic and was traveling for work so I'm beat.
Why do people get this so called "writer's block"? All of a sudden it just feels like an invisible wall has stopped you in your tracks. My goal is to write at least one new post everyday so here I am at 11:22pm writing about writer's block.
Hoping to have something more exciting tomorrow for you all! possible topic...what's more important to you, family or career? Certain jobs can be very demanding and don't even allow time for dating, let alone a family...is that career worth giving up your personal life for? To be continued...
Why do people get this so called "writer's block"? All of a sudden it just feels like an invisible wall has stopped you in your tracks. My goal is to write at least one new post everyday so here I am at 11:22pm writing about writer's block.
Hoping to have something more exciting tomorrow for you all! possible topic...what's more important to you, family or career? Certain jobs can be very demanding and don't even allow time for dating, let alone a family...is that career worth giving up your personal life for? To be continued...
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Marriage apparently isn't that popular anymore...
Just read an article on Yahoo News titled Four in 10 say marriage is becoming obsolete.
Being a recently married woman this article obviously peaked my interest. According to a recent survey more and more children are living with only one parent or parents who aren't married, which they say is 5 times more the amount since 1960.
Do you think you need to be married to have a "family"? I wouldn't say I'm the most traditional person but I really like the idea of two people getting married (for the right reasons) and starting a family (if they want children) out of love. I believe many people do not take the institution of marriage seriously and wind up marrying the wrong person or rushing into something they shouldn't have. It sort of infuriates me when people take marriage so lightly and think well if it doesn't work out we'll just get a divorce (before they're even married). For me I don't think my husband and I will get a divorce but I'm still a realist so I say "we're just hoping for the best" and know from talking to many people with experience that marriage is hard work. I'm ready to work hard for my future family because otherwise I wouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
I am by no means an expert or a therapist but I just believe that if you have problems or just want to talk things out, seeking counseling is helpful and even if you don't end up staying together at least it will shed light on why the relationship won't work out. Every time Dave and I left pre-marital counseling we felt good talking things out. There are a lot of things that come to light that you normally wouldn't have thought about if it weren't for that objective third party in the room. Many times it's difficult to share your emotions and feelings with your significant other when they can't see past their own views and vice versa.
I always wanted to try out therapy alone but never had the insurance to do so. When I brought it up to Dave he was a little weary at first because he's never had a therapist that he connected to so he didn't feel it helped him. We luckily found a woman that we both liked meeting with and Dave found that he was opening up a lot more easily than any of his previous experiences. So if you plan on seeking therapy I think it's so important to find someone you connect with and that actually seems like they enjoy their job.
If you're not ready to get married, take your time, there's no shame in waiting for what you want. Don't settle for anything less than the best. At the end of the day you want to be happy and that's what's most important.
Full Yahoo article on the decline of marriage... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_declining_marriage
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Power of Giving...
I love the holiday season because it's a time when most of us are surrounded by family and good friends. For me, my favorite part of the holidays is giving. Doing things for others brings me a lot of joy especially when it puts a smile on their face. In the Jewish culture many people refer to having the power of "mitzvah" which loosely translates to "good deed"...unfortunately many people do not possess this quality and I'm fortunate to have been blessed by it.
I stole a couple of quotes off of www.goop.com which is another interesting blog by Gwenyth Paltrow.
“Do you love your creator? Love your fellow-beings first”
-Muhammed
“A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.”
- Buddha
“Love thy neighbor as thyself.”
- Jesus
Spiritual leaders for centuries have taught the idea of putting someone else’s needs before one’s own. What is it about this common thread - the act of giving of one’s self - that is so valuable? - gp
Even though at some level I guess I wish people would do onto me as I do onto them but at the end of the day I do good deeds because it feels good and even it's something small, I feel like I did my part. I am also a big believer in karma so for those of you who feel like bad things are always happening to you, try putting some positive vibes out there and do something for someone else for no reason...might make you feel better or even turn your luck around.
There's always someone out there that is worse off than you so as you go through this holiday season and onto the new year I hope we all can remember to be kind to one another and that there really is a power in giving.
Power of mitzvah baby!
I stole a couple of quotes off of www.goop.com which is another interesting blog by Gwenyth Paltrow.
“Do you love your creator? Love your fellow-beings first”
-Muhammed
“A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.”
- Buddha
“Love thy neighbor as thyself.”
- Jesus
Spiritual leaders for centuries have taught the idea of putting someone else’s needs before one’s own. What is it about this common thread - the act of giving of one’s self - that is so valuable? - gp
Even though at some level I guess I wish people would do onto me as I do onto them but at the end of the day I do good deeds because it feels good and even it's something small, I feel like I did my part. I am also a big believer in karma so for those of you who feel like bad things are always happening to you, try putting some positive vibes out there and do something for someone else for no reason...might make you feel better or even turn your luck around.
There's always someone out there that is worse off than you so as you go through this holiday season and onto the new year I hope we all can remember to be kind to one another and that there really is a power in giving.
Power of mitzvah baby!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
If you're mixed and proud put your hand up!
In this day an age there are so many mixed race kiddies running around but it's still a topic that I don't hear many people talk about. For me growing up mixed has been great but there are also some things that bother about it.
My father is a white Jewish guy from Pittsburgh, PA and my mother hailing from Colombia, South America. They met on the subway in NYC and to my dad's Jewish mother's dismay it was LOVE and 30 years later they're still married with 3 grown children.
I'm not sure how other mixed race people feel and I can't speak for them, but for me I don't feel like I'm "white" or "Hispanic"...I just feel like I'm ME. I certainly have a connection with both my Jewish and Colombian sides of the family which I am thankful for however sometimes I don't feel "Jewish" or "Latin" enough to fit in completely with either side.
I fortunately was fluent in Spanish for the first 10 years of my life but unfortunately we stopped speaking Spanish in the house and English became the primary language for us...slowly being able to speak Spanish fluently faded away for me. As an adult I wish I knew how to speak fluently because it is something I'd want to pass onto my children however with my husband being a caucasian Jewish man just like my father, and then sprinkle me in with my now broken Spanish...the likely hood of my kids learning it from us is slim to none.
Also the older I get the more important it is for me to connect with family and because I don't speak Spanish I do feel a disconnect with some of my mother's side of the family. I'm thankful that everyone accepts us the way we are however it does bother me to a degree that we don't speak the language. I also hate feeling like I'm being silently judged because people think I "should" know how to speak Spanish.
On my Jewish side everyone is very accepting as well but even with then I feel as though I'm not "Jewish" enough and wonder if my in-laws secretly hope I will start practicing Judism with our future children.
My whole life people would always try to guess my ethnicity and even though sometimes being "mysterious" can be fun, it can also get highly annoying. "What are you? Dominican and black? Puerto Rican and black? half black half white? Indian? Egyptian?" It's interesting the things that people come up with.
We've been lucky not to really ever experience much negativity about being mixed however you will find ignorant people from time to time. I remember distinctly when we were little we had a white family live across the street from us in Little Ferry, NJ and when we went on vacation their teenage daughter came and threw all our mail out onto the ground. She would call us Oreo cookies and I don't think I knew what it meant at the time but I remember not feeling good about it. Not sure what kind of person she grew up to be but I'm glad to be mixed because I feel that by default it has made me an open person, one that does not judge others easily...I'm thankful to my parents for growing up a loving, open, and honest person.
I've never discussed it with my siblings but it's interesting because in all of our dating lives we've gravitated toward different races. I've mainly dated white guys, my brother spanish girls, and my sister used to gravitate toward black men but now she's expanded her horizons. Wonder if what they say is true...you tend to be with people similar to your father or mother.
Even though I can have confused emotions about being mixed at times I wouldn't change who I am for anything. I love that we have two different cultures to celebrate and be a part of and the fact that I can like Matzo and Empanadas in the same household is great!
No matter what you are, embrace it.
Here's an old article from New York Times circa 2008 if you're interested...."Contemplations on Being of Mixed Race in America" - http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/11/opinion/11mon4.html
My father is a white Jewish guy from Pittsburgh, PA and my mother hailing from Colombia, South America. They met on the subway in NYC and to my dad's Jewish mother's dismay it was LOVE and 30 years later they're still married with 3 grown children.
I'm not sure how other mixed race people feel and I can't speak for them, but for me I don't feel like I'm "white" or "Hispanic"...I just feel like I'm ME. I certainly have a connection with both my Jewish and Colombian sides of the family which I am thankful for however sometimes I don't feel "Jewish" or "Latin" enough to fit in completely with either side.
I fortunately was fluent in Spanish for the first 10 years of my life but unfortunately we stopped speaking Spanish in the house and English became the primary language for us...slowly being able to speak Spanish fluently faded away for me. As an adult I wish I knew how to speak fluently because it is something I'd want to pass onto my children however with my husband being a caucasian Jewish man just like my father, and then sprinkle me in with my now broken Spanish...the likely hood of my kids learning it from us is slim to none.
Also the older I get the more important it is for me to connect with family and because I don't speak Spanish I do feel a disconnect with some of my mother's side of the family. I'm thankful that everyone accepts us the way we are however it does bother me to a degree that we don't speak the language. I also hate feeling like I'm being silently judged because people think I "should" know how to speak Spanish.
On my Jewish side everyone is very accepting as well but even with then I feel as though I'm not "Jewish" enough and wonder if my in-laws secretly hope I will start practicing Judism with our future children.
My whole life people would always try to guess my ethnicity and even though sometimes being "mysterious" can be fun, it can also get highly annoying. "What are you? Dominican and black? Puerto Rican and black? half black half white? Indian? Egyptian?" It's interesting the things that people come up with.
We've been lucky not to really ever experience much negativity about being mixed however you will find ignorant people from time to time. I remember distinctly when we were little we had a white family live across the street from us in Little Ferry, NJ and when we went on vacation their teenage daughter came and threw all our mail out onto the ground. She would call us Oreo cookies and I don't think I knew what it meant at the time but I remember not feeling good about it. Not sure what kind of person she grew up to be but I'm glad to be mixed because I feel that by default it has made me an open person, one that does not judge others easily...I'm thankful to my parents for growing up a loving, open, and honest person.
I've never discussed it with my siblings but it's interesting because in all of our dating lives we've gravitated toward different races. I've mainly dated white guys, my brother spanish girls, and my sister used to gravitate toward black men but now she's expanded her horizons. Wonder if what they say is true...you tend to be with people similar to your father or mother.
Even though I can have confused emotions about being mixed at times I wouldn't change who I am for anything. I love that we have two different cultures to celebrate and be a part of and the fact that I can like Matzo and Empanadas in the same household is great!
No matter what you are, embrace it.
Here's an old article from New York Times circa 2008 if you're interested...."Contemplations on Being of Mixed Race in America" - http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/11/opinion/11mon4.html
Procrastination...
Like many I can be a big procrastinator at times. Why do we put things off so much? I'm sure I've said things like "Oh I work better under pressure" or "I have plenty of time!" but the truth is they're all excuses.
I've always admired people who have the diligence and discipline for getting things done. Can someone drop some knowledge on me? One day I hope to be a lot more on top of things and essentially a go-getter...unfortunately it's something I'll just have to practice until I get it right.
Now I guess I should get back to work! ;-)
I've always admired people who have the diligence and discipline for getting things done. Can someone drop some knowledge on me? One day I hope to be a lot more on top of things and essentially a go-getter...unfortunately it's something I'll just have to practice until I get it right.
Now I guess I should get back to work! ;-)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Even cats know when to take a break...
If you need a break, take one! Here's a cute clip of a cat giving another cat a massage. There's nothing wrong with pampering yourself from time to time. :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=598IdFlOXcQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=598IdFlOXcQ
Being the Best You, You Can Be: Spotlight on My Trainer Paul :-)
One of my favorite people, who also happens to be my trainer, has told me time and time again "It's not about perfection, it's about improvement." Being healthy and keeping up with my fitness has never been something that has come naturally to me but after many failed extreme diets I've finally come to My Trainer Paul.
Paul has made me realize that I can't beat myself up when I'm not "perfect" because that's how things start to crumble. I have not felt motivated to work out or eat right since right before my wedding but I know I can go back to it at any moment because everyday is a new beginning. I was always thinking about getting healthy because the older I get the harder it has become for me to get motivated....the wedding just happened to be the kick in the butt I needed to start my lifestyle change out.
Even though I was never the most athletic type, I do value the importance of staying in the best shape for yourself and how good it feels when you do sweat. I've learned from Paul that it's never too late to be the best you, you can be and I'm thankful for the friendship and knowledge I've gained by meeting Paul.
I'm looking forward to getting back on the horse and not gaining all that winter
weight ;-)
If anyone is interested in a great, fun, REALISTIC trainer, I highly recommend Paul Everett and you can check out his website www.mytrainerpaul.com Even if you don't live in the Atlanta area Paul also does virtual training and consultations.
In the words of Paul....Have a healthy day!
Paul has made me realize that I can't beat myself up when I'm not "perfect" because that's how things start to crumble. I have not felt motivated to work out or eat right since right before my wedding but I know I can go back to it at any moment because everyday is a new beginning. I was always thinking about getting healthy because the older I get the harder it has become for me to get motivated....the wedding just happened to be the kick in the butt I needed to start my lifestyle change out.
Even though I was never the most athletic type, I do value the importance of staying in the best shape for yourself and how good it feels when you do sweat. I've learned from Paul that it's never too late to be the best you, you can be and I'm thankful for the friendship and knowledge I've gained by meeting Paul.
I'm looking forward to getting back on the horse and not gaining all that winter
weight ;-)
If anyone is interested in a great, fun, REALISTIC trainer, I highly recommend Paul Everett and you can check out his website www.mytrainerpaul.com Even if you don't live in the Atlanta area Paul also does virtual training and consultations.
In the words of Paul....Have a healthy day!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Back to basics....
Lately I've been thinking a lot about what direction I want to take my life in...career wise. Trying to figure out my so called "passion" has been a point of contention for me most of my adult life. It's something I struggle with and now that I'm a newlywed I find that I'm putting more pressure on myself than necessary. Life has enough drama so I figured I'd step back, take a breath, and just do something for me, hence getting back to blogging.
I've never read an O Magazine in my life but this month the cover title leapt out at me like a deer in head lights...."What's Your True Calling? An Easy Does It Guide to Finding (and Fulfilling) Your Life's Purpose" It was like Oprah herself and written this issue just for me...there are a lot of interesting stories and helpful articles in regards to trying to figure out what it is we are meant to do with our time on this planet. Reading other people's struggles and successes in eventually reaching their true calling made me feel more at ease.
My favorite quote from this dedicated magazine issue is...
I've never read an O Magazine in my life but this month the cover title leapt out at me like a deer in head lights...."What's Your True Calling? An Easy Does It Guide to Finding (and Fulfilling) Your Life's Purpose" It was like Oprah herself and written this issue just for me...there are a lot of interesting stories and helpful articles in regards to trying to figure out what it is we are meant to do with our time on this planet. Reading other people's struggles and successes in eventually reaching their true calling made me feel more at ease.
My favorite quote from this dedicated magazine issue is...
"I believe that people should do what they loved to do when they were 10 - the age before you start caring what others think." -Joy Behar
At the end of the day I just want to be happy and stay connected with the people who matter most in my life so I think I'll save the stress of figuring "me" out for another day!
Hope you come back and check in on my random blog from time to time....goodnight! :-)
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